A couple of things I’ve learned in 5 Years of retirement travel

I’ve learned a few things in our five years of retirement travel.  You probably already know this stuff, things I’ve learned from experience. I’ll be back with more in future blogs but for now…..

First, Vervet monkeys in South Africa are smarter than you and every other tourist who has previously stayed in your luxury tented room.

We were warned. No, not warned, we were clearly and sternly told to lock our tent. Staff told us not to just zip the zipper to the beautiful luxury tented room but secure the zipper’s lock because the monkeys enjoy breaking and entering and taking off with everything. But we were jet lagged, under the spell of Africa, dazzled by the African countryside, seduced by the views of elephants, whatever excuse we want to use — so we ignored the warnings. How silly are we. As we settled into

The criminal back in the tree…..

our tented room, R headed to the bathroom while I started unpacking. I heard a quiet patter behind me, enough of a noise to know something had joined me in the tent.  When I turned around and spied a large Vervet monkey, I screamed. Startled by my response, my monkey visitor screamed right back at me, stared at me briefly, and then scampered out the zipped tent door and back to the trees.  As I recounted the tale, R said he was sorry he missed out on the monkey meetup.

One would think that having a monkey break into our tent would convince us to follow directions and lock the tent’s zipper. No. The next day R’s wish for a monkey encounter of his own was fulfilled. This time I was in the bathroom when I heard R say “ What do you want?” I knew he wasn’t speaking to me. As I cautiously walked into our sleeping area, I found R addressing his question to a monkey. As the two of them stared at each other, R apparently waiting for his new friend to answer the question, I rather expected this bold little guy to say “I’ll have a gin & tonic, please.”

We started locking the zipper.

Monkeys are smart. Not so much the two of us.

Next lesson, life is different in other countries, often times in ways you can’t imagine. Don’t expect places to look and feel like the USA or to have USA conveniences.

You know this. I know this. But it is easy to expect certain conveniences, even when traveling far from home.  For example, toilets are different in Asia. Have you ever encountered a squatty potty?

If you are over five feet tall and less limber than Gumby, squatty potties just might be your traveling nemesis. On a stop from one place to Bangkok, Thailand I really needed to pee. The sole option at the rest stop was a squatty potty. The issue was I could not squat low enough to effectively pee in the squatty potty. Channeling my best yoga/Pilate poses I took a semi-girl dog one-legged squat over the potty, carefully balancing myself on one arm, trying to pee away from my left foot, while dabbing with my free hand. I never appreciated western toilets until I almost flooded my left shoe at that Thailand toilet stop. After that, every time the tour was close to a western toilet, I slugged my way to the front of the line, pushing older women out of my way just for a chance at a decent toilet.

Remember, not everyone lives a western lifestyle. People in many countries live very differently from Americans. Therefore, be kind and respectful because you are a visitor, even when you want to weep from heat, dehydration, hunger, and pee in your left shoe.

An electrical fixture in Hanoi. The wires ran to apartments, the public alert system, to small shops — everywhere. The westerners with us were fascinated by this tangle. Fire code?

A squatters’ township outside Sowetto, South Africa. I’ve never seen such poverty. When I’m feeling whiny or ungrateful about my life, I look at this photo. Quick cure for whininess. 

A Peruvian woman at a community market in the Sacred Valley eating homemade cow’s head soup.  Notice the teeth?

I’ll be back with more but now I’m off to XC ski.